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Remote session ACCA CBE 1-5 March 2021

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Cow Economics

Forums › Accounting jokes forums › Cow Economics

  • This topic has 10 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by walu01.
Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • November 21, 2008 at 2:38 am #20704
    student33
    • Topics: 1
    • Replies: 2
    • ☆

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
    You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
    No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive

    April 16, 2014 at 1:01 pm #165445
    Anonymous
    • Topics: 0
    • Replies: 3
    • ☆

    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    August 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm #190389
    latoyah
    • Topics: 9
    • Replies: 207
    • ☆☆☆

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    This is the ideal!

    these jokes have me laughing out loud

    August 22, 2014 at 5:54 pm #191932
    ajaynissi96
    • Topics: 0
    • Replies: 1
    • ☆

    looll .. lmao 🙂 omg… that ws an awsm joke

    September 24, 2014 at 7:36 pm #196310
    Nasim
    • Topics: 0
    • Replies: 1
    • ☆

    Lol!

    September 26, 2014 at 10:49 am #196498
    Ali Asghar
    • Topics: 1
    • Replies: 9
    • ☆

    By far, the best joke on opentuition xD

    October 16, 2014 at 11:24 am #204572
    avinero
    • Topics: 1
    • Replies: 2
    • ☆

    LMAO, too good

    October 25, 2014 at 10:38 pm #205975
    omerchamp
    • Topics: 3
    • Replies: 4
    • ☆

    i love it very stress relieving in exam days hats off

    November 8, 2014 at 8:07 pm #208484
    Iqra
    • Topics: 21
    • Replies: 14
    • ☆

    Nice !!!????

    January 10, 2017 at 9:20 am #365888
    storm
    • Topics: 14
    • Replies: 12
    • ☆

    hilarious

    June 10, 2019 at 12:41 pm #520093
    walu01
    • Topics: 0
    • Replies: 2
    • ☆

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM … Haha

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