Break-up Language

When these people want to break up with their lovers they will say like this-
A Software Engineer: “I think your database is outdated, that’s why it’s showing ‘error!’ I’m sorry, I have to uninstall you…”
A Doctor: “When I met you first, u were always wandering in my brain, later you became my migraine and now I got it’s actually a tumor which I need to operate ASAP”.
A Poet: “Beautiful Lady! I’m sacrificing our relation for your sake. You are bouquet of roses and I’m an empty vase but how long flowers can live in an empty vase!”…!
An Accountant: I always put you in my debit side (debit= left= heart=) but now as you want to ‘go away’ so you are not under my control anymore and broke the definition of assets…btw if you still think that you are an asset, then I can find a lessee for you.”