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Office Memo

Forums › Accounting jokes forums › Office Memo

  • This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 15 years ago by ramsha.
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  • Author
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  • July 3, 2009 at 3:05 am #28019
    ramsha
    Member
    • Topics: 59
    • Replies: 10
    • ☆☆

    Dear Staff,
    It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

    Personal Days:
    Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

    Lunch Breaks:
    Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

    Sick Days:
    We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

    Surgery:
    As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.

    Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

    Have a nice week.

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