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You might be an Accountant if…
you refer to your child as Deduction 214.
you deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".
you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.
at the move Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.
your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
you are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year.
you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline "======".
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