[johntran93]

I did not make it . Comment from marker is mostly told me that the reference is wrong then I read my RAP again but everything to me is clearly reference, even my mentor from LSBF singapore told me to submit then I feel confidence however I quite surprise that i received reference problem from marker which I believe one of my RAP strength I so sad. I think I need to look for new mentor with better reference skill. Many people in this forum recommend Learning Luminarium which abit expensive however if they really can point out what i do wrong in my RAP ill pay for it. My question is do they really read and point out what I need to change or fix ? or just look at $$$ and sign off in the end without any checking.

[johntran93]

* for part 3) My naratives i did reference from appendix 4 and in appendix 4 i did reference from annual report 2014-2015-2016. I would like to post picture to show it. I am so confused right now! I did proper reference and follow what my mentor has advice me on preference style.

[johntran93]

As previously mentioned PESTLE and SWOT Business Models are included at the start of the analysis with very little referencing. Referencing is a key skill and you must demonstrate competence in using it. Your analysis in the business models is very readable and interesting – where for example you write ‘Parliament passed a bill increased maximum fine for rail disruption to 10% of an operator’s annual fare revenue from maximum cap S$1m’…………. did you read this in an article? If so, you should include a citation alongside this information to link to the details of the source in the appendices .This is just one example where your referencing is weak. You need to go through your whole report to confirm that the facts, data and other information you use is appropriately referenced. This includes information taken from annual reports e.g. page 22 and 23 – where does the data you use in the narrative come from? In going through the report systematically this may reveal to you that you have used a wider range of sources than is evident. The list of references is too brief – note that you are not required to produce a bibliography just a List of References.

THIS IS COMMENT FROM MARKER he said bibliography is not needed just list of references

[johntran93]

2. Application of accountancy/business models
Reasons for fail and advice for improvement:
PESTLE and SWOT Business Models are included at the start of the analysis with very little referencing. In order to meet the criteria for application of the business models the use of references is essential and these should include some references from sources that are relatively unbiased such as journals and electronic articles other than Company reports.

So my application is ok? its just i do not use reference?
2)
Reasons for fail and advice for improvement:
One year of competitor data is provided which limits the usefulness of using a benchmark – you would find it more helpful I think if you did not limit your research in this way. Your comparator analysis and narrrative on page 28 is too brief and in many senses is quite superficial. For example on page 29 you state: ‘SBS’s total operating expense increase 11.8% while SMRT is only 4.5% (exclude amortize of government grant) prove that SMRT has better cost control strategy and operating efficiency.’ First of all try not to use the word ‘prove’ as you cannot prove that cost control is better from this limited piece of work, proving something is quite difficult. Secondly what is it about the cost control strategy that seems to be the reason for the difference in performance in the two companies? You need to explore the reasons for differences in performance between the two companies in a little more detail. Your referencing of data, facts and other information, particularly in the business analysis, is weak (see box 6) and so I am unable to confirm your findings and conclusions.
3)
As previously mentioned PESTLE and SWOT Business Models are included at the start of the analysis with very little referencing. Referencing is a key skill and you must demonstrate competence in using it. Your analysis in the business models is very readable and interesting – where for example you write ‘Parliament passed a bill increased maximum fine for rail disruption to 10% of an operator’s annual fare revenue from maximum cap S$1m’…………. did you read this in an article? If so, you should include a citation alongside this information to link to the details of the source in the appendices .This is just one example where your referencing is weak. You need to go through your whole report to confirm that the facts, data and other information you use is appropriately referenced. This includes information taken from annual reports e.g. page 22 and 23 – where does the data you use in the narrative come from? In going through the report systematically this may reveal to you that you have used a wider range of sources than is evident. The list of references is too brief – note that you are not required to produce a bibliography just a List of References.

My understanding: so what i understand is if i use information from government website i should put according to 123.com.sg government 1m bill is under considered ?

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